well that was a big load of bullshit.

this is where it needs to happen, this is where i need to build. think about ''things'' then find some focus. the trouble is what i really want to write about is the really tuff stuff. but then why not, people are too self absorbed to seek this shit out. it's as safe as my note books really. so what is it that i really want to explore? how close i came to losing another one? how close really? how do we know the signs of seriousness. he told me he'd taken pills, lead me to beieve that he'd taken enuf to drift him off. turns out he took 8. enuf to fuck him up, sure, but not enuf for eternal sleep. i kept telling him to find me...