well that was a big load of bullshit.

this is where it needs to happen, this is where i need to build. think about ''things'' then find some focus. the trouble is what i really want to write about is the really tuff stuff. but then why not, people are too self absorbed to seek this shit out. it's as safe as my note books really. so what is it that i really want to explore? how close i came to losing another one? how close really? how do we know the signs of seriousness. he told me he'd taken pills, lead me to beieve that he'd taken enuf to drift him off. turns out he took 8. enuf to fuck him up, sure, but not enuf for eternal sleep. i kept telling him to find me...

i have to do something

i need to find my flow again, mebbe i can find it here?

and still i'm stepping on eggshells.

i have these things that i want, but i don't seem to be able to move forward as quickly as the rest of the world, well the successful rest of the world

and still i'm stepping on eggshells.

i know complaining about it wont help.

i have had some victories, but were they misguided? no, of course not.

and still i'm stepping on eggshells.

i cant shake hope, i still want to fight. there are words to be said and worlds to be formed.

i cant stop stepping on eggshells,